Live, Laugh, Love

My mother-in-law's favorite saying which is plastered all over her walls is: Live, Laugh, Love. A friend of mine (who I will not name) struggles with some health issues seemingly similar to my own, but she prefers not to "give them power by speaking about them." That is a hard practice to implement. Think--I can't be anxious as I wait to find out WHAT is plaguing my 33-year-old body. I have signs of an autoimmune disease and this takes a LONG time to figure out--sometimes years. I have a sarcastic humor and it feels like I am living out an episode of Mystery Diagnosis.

For the last 10 years, I have struggled with times when I feel worried about how I feel, but I do not want to become SO focused over the next few months and forget others and my family until they figure out this enigmatic event. Things that don't seemingly fit together completely are related. My brain tells me to breathe, sleep, eat, etc. so it's all concomitant. I write for therapeutic reasons and had fallen away from it, but it creates a sense of peace in me when I DO look upward and focus on God. It's just that this is, again, easier said than done. 

But inherently, ALL situations in life are based on our frame of reference. That is something subjective to each of us. As much as our spouses want to understand WHY we react the way we do, it's something COMPLETELY situational. I could sit ALL DAY & not understand it. With the vast amount of information and misinformation available online, you can learn enough to make you "dangerous" but everyone agrees that it's based on your life experiences. It's no secret that 10 years ago, I almost died from a perinephric abscess/ MRSA infection/ blood clot. That CHANGES you, how you look at things and it isn't always for the better. I KNOW this in my mind, but automatically if I don't tell myself over and over when things are present which are concerning, I jump to the worst possible outcomes. 

Yes, we are still on the journey to discovering what the causes are and there are MANY conditions which are not indicative on the standard tests which are conducted, so perhaps I am approaching this wrongly. MY friend, who I admire greatly, said it best. Look to God and don't give this power. I admire HOW she lives it. I aspire to be LIKE her. No excuse here, Aaron (you are correct--yes, I KNOW).  

I just want to remember to embrace LIFE, because it is SO short! I LOVE living and laughing. At a doctor's office the other day, another patient asked the nurse if he could just trade in his body and get a new one--only this time, with a warranty. I found that hilarious because we know that our bodies are temporary and just a "house," per say for our souls, which will go to Heaven or Hell. We have ONE life and I want to LIVE it, breathe it all in, relish every experience! 

I leave you with a quote that has stuck in my mind for years. It is from Lisa Beamer (most sources attribute it to her), who is the wife of Todd Beamer, one of the men killed on Flight 93 on September 11, 2001. "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."  A lesson I could definitely learn is to LIVE EACH MOMENT as if it were my last. I bet if Mr. Beamer had a do-over, he would definitely revel in this notion. So, if I could sum it up in a few words, Aaron's mom is a wise woman with believing to, "Live, Love, Laugh." Or, as Bob Marley sang, "Don't Worry, Be Happy."