The formula for the PERFECT marriage...

I am, by no means an expert on marriage.  With that said, I have been married for seven years and together with my husband for eight...so the better part of a decade.  I can say WITHOUT RESERVATION that he is the best thing that has ever happened to me, aside from my sweet adopted daughter from Russia.  

This weekend, we were blessed enough to attend an Air Force program known as Yellow Ribbon that was a re-integration following a deployment program.  A couple of the workshops we attended were geared towards figuring out what personality type you are of four main personalities.  This stuff is fascinating to me because I majored in communications and sociology.  In my relationship with Aaron, I am VERY much a communicator, but he is too.  It is the KIND of communicator that matters and the knowledge that each of us has a little of each color in us, but we all have a PRIMARY color too.

So, those of you that KNOW me, probably know that my primary color is Blue and Aaron's is Green.  My secondary color is orange and Aaron's is gold.  The aim of the second workshop this Colonel taught was to figure out how to best communicate with the personality types around you...whether it be your spouse, your co-workers, etc.

When Aaron and I communicate, I am BIG into feelings and how I see a particular thing at that moment is dependent upon how I feel right then. Mind you, it could change in ten seconds flat. Aaron, being a Green primarily, uses logic over feelings to communicate.  That's why his budget spreadsheets work for him, but it's harder for me to relate to them....or anything to do with logic, really. Does that make me sound dense or stupid?  Depends on your perspective. Each color has MANY strengths.  Among those of the Blue color are creativity, competitiveness (because my secondary is orange), empathetic, emotionally supportive, good with person-to-person interaction, BUT this can also be a downfall too.  Immature blues do not know how to say NO and are typically overworked and are seen as "yes, people."

Greens, like my husband, are highly fact-based, analytical people. They rely on logic instead of feelings.  An answer to a question is either black or white and nothing in between.  They are extremely competent people, but are reluctant to communicate feelings.  I have to ask Aaron rather pointedly how he FEELS about something before he will communicate that.  Even so, he will still draw primarily on facts and figures versus feelings.

What I learned is that not one color is dominant over the other as far as competence is concerned.  They are just better-suited for occupations and jobs which align with their colors.  As for marriage, realizing this and what your partner's love language is makes you a better mate.  I mean, I KNOW mine is receiving gifts, words of affirmation and physical touch in that order.  Aaron's is more acts of service....he is more of a "don't tell me in words or feelings, but SHOW me."  I bet the love language of many greens is probably acts of service.  So, it is key to really know someone who you are marrying and be able to effectively communicate with them on THEIR personality or love language.

I'd also add one other thing, and yes, this is a "feeling" based response to thinking about these over this weekend.  I saw this picture today on Facebook and to sum it up in words:

We are human and the literal thought that comes to mind is that when God made us, he made us in His own image, but sin changed that for the whole world.  We are all sinners and must learn to be the best we can be and make a positive contribution to the world.  Aaron said something the other day that made a whole lot of sense after I thought about it.  He said, "Everyday, we wake up and make some contribution, whether that is positive or negative is up to us."  

I don't know about you, but I hope that most days my contributions will be positive, though since we are SINNERS, knowing that not everyday will be a positive contribution.  With that said, if we realize that marriage is a commitment for LIFE and NOT just when we FEEL like giving up, we are better off.  Love waxes and it wanes, it's the way of the world.  But if you ask me who I want to spend the rest of my life with, I would not hesitate to say my husband.  You logical, green personality types, you will have to conjure up a bit of blue and realize that there is no formula for the PERFECT marriage.  The best I can do is to use a principle I learned in Geometry (wow, that stuff has practical implications).  I have devised a proof for all the greens of the world like my husband:

If person 1 is a sinner and person 2 is a sinner, then (Person 1 + person 2 ≠ perfect marriage.  

Hey, that qualifies as a proof, right?