Song of Solomon: A modern day Harlequin novel

Song of Solomon: A modern day Harlequin novel

At a recent marriage retreat Aaron and I attended, they had separate women's and men's sessions for one of them so that each party could think about issues related to their spouse.  On the Saturday night of the retreat, they discussed "Marriage After Dark."

The speaker noted two passages of scripture from Chapters 4 & 5 in Song of Solomon.


From Chapter 4:

He4 

Behold, you are beautiful, my love,
    behold, you are beautiful!
Your eyes are doves
    behind your veil.
Your hair is like a flock of goats
    leaping down the slopes of Gilead.
2 Your teeth are like a flock of shorn ewes
    that have come up from the washing,
all of which bear twins,
    and not one among them has lost its young.
3 Your lips are like a scarlet thread,
    and your mouth is lovely.
Your cheeks are like halves of a pomegranate
    behind your veil.
4 Your neck is like the tower of David,
    built in rows of stone;[a]
on it hang a thousand shields,
    all of them shields of warriors.
5 Your two breasts are like two fawns,
    twins of a gazelle,
    that graze among the lilies.
6 Until the day breathes
    and the shadows flee,
I will go away to the mountain of myrrh
    and the hill of frankincense.
7 You are altogether beautiful, my love;
    there is no flaw in you.
8 Come with me from Lebanon, my bride;
    come with me from Lebanon.
Depart[b] from the peak of Amana,
    from the peak of Senir and Hermon,
from the dens of lions,
    from the mountains of leopards.

9 You have captivated my heart, my sister, my bride;
    you have captivated my heart with one glance of your eyes,
    with one jewel of your necklace.
10 How beautiful is your love, my sister, my bride!
    How much better is your love than wine,
    and the fragrance of your oils than any spice!
11 Your lips drip nectar, my bride;
    honey and milk are under your tongue;
    the fragrance of your garments is like the fragrance of Lebanon.
12 A garden locked is my sister, my bride,
    a spring locked, a fountain sealed.
13 Your shoots are an orchard of pomegranates
    with all choicest fruits,
    henna with nard,
14 nard and saffron, calamus and cinnamon,
    with all trees of frankincense,
myrrh and aloes,
    with all choice spices—
15 a garden fountain, a well of living water,
    and flowing streams from Lebanon.

16 Awake, O north wind,
    and come, O south wind!
Blow upon my garden,
    let its spices flow.

From Chapter 5:

She

10 My beloved is radiant and ruddy,
    distinguished among ten thousand.
11 His head is the finest gold;
    his locks are wavy,
    black as a raven.
12 His eyes are like doves
    beside streams of water,
bathed in milk,
    sitting beside a full pool.[a]
13 His cheeks are like beds of spices,
    mounds of sweet-smelling herbs.
His lips are lilies,
    dripping liquid myrrh.
14 His arms are rods of gold,
    set with jewels.
His body is polished ivory,[b]
    bedecked with sapphires.[c]
15 His legs are alabaster columns,
    set on bases of gold.
His appearance is like Lebanon,
    choice as the cedars.
16 His mouth[d] is most sweet,
    and he is altogether desirable.
This is my beloved and this is my friend,
    O daughters of Jerusalem.

When I first read these passages in reference to what we were discussing at the retreat, this made me say.....wow, this is like a biblical Harlequin novel!  But, oh, what a love letter he wrote to his bride and she to her groom!  Many of us only WISH our spouses wrote like this!  

Then, I began to compare the two passages, one written by Solomon to his wife to be, and the other written by her to him.  I noticed that the passage written by Solomon is mainly physical in description.  He uses terms to say what her body looks like.  The first thing the woman does when writing about her husband, is to describe how he stands out when compared to ten thousand and THEN she enters into a description of his body, ending with the statement, that "This is my beloved and this is my friend..."  I must notice that the passage written to the wife ends with a description of her body and no statement about friends.  

This is what I think life is like today for many of us, except not put so eloquently.  A man wants a woman who looks good on his arm.  But the same can be said of a woman's wants also.  It's just that most women do not JUST focus on the physical and make it the forefront of their relationships.

No, this isn't a stab to men or even to my husband, whom I love dearly.  It is, merely, an observation about the differences between a man's line of thinking and a woman's.  My husband and I met on e-Harmony.  When I first laid eyes on him, almost nine years ago, standing outside the "Ugly Mug," coffee shop in Mobile, Alabama, I thought... "Man, he is skinny.."  But then as I sat and talked with him and we laughed over coffee and then went to dinner afterward, I knew there was something there.  He also pulled off the most romantic line a man has EVER spoken to me. He said something about this rose he had brought with him and it will forever be the rose that is "our rose."  Know how some people have a song?  Well, WE have a flower.

In order to understand what he said, I had to show you a photo of the rose.  It is called a Circus rose.  He handed me the rose and said something about how the yellow on it was for the friendship we had begun and the red on it was for what our relationship could become!

He had me, "hook, line and sinker..." after that.  He knows he is a hopeless romantic and that is one of the things I LOVE about my husband.  The other day I was reading Facebook posts and looking at random images people had posted and I thought this one is completely relevant to what I am writing today.  

These words are the best advice any woman or man can receive about the secret to a lifelong, happy marriage!!!  Yes, I too, am a hopeless romantic!  When we are dating, we are doing everything we can to look our best.....with makeup and clothes for us women and for the guys, well, I don't know because I am not a guy, but I'd imagine it's the same.  

Why do we become complacent when we get married and decide that going to Wal-Mart in our pajamas is okay?  Yes, I did this....WHEN my husband was active duty military and an officer, at that.  He would get so mad with me and I was like...well, what does it matter?  It is JUST Wal-Mart.  I know it matters, because he had a certain image to uphold and if I was prancing around in my pajamas and met someone he worked with, it would have been embarrassing.  I get it, I do.  That is why I don't do that anymore.  Even, not now, not when we have a child and some days I NEVER want to get OUT of my Pajamas.  If I have to go out, I at least put on workout pants....yes, my yoga pants are my favorite pair to have when I have to run to the grocery store.  I mean, I USUALLY am planning on working out later in the day, so why would I wear different clothes and have to change again?

Just as in the way we dress, we should be cognizant of our weight and how we let ourselves look from a physical standpoint too.  Yes, this is a battle for me and always will be because I am blessed by the family "FAT" gene.  

In saying this, I am not referring to a New Year's Resolution I made, but to one of the many battles I fight in this life.  Once upon a time, in college and my early 20's, I was 114 pounds, in shape and exercising twice a day sometimes.  I was a YMCA aerobics instructor and used that to supplement my income as a radio personality and then later when I worked for a bit in Public Relations.

I have had a battle since age 23, with various and sundry health problems which have affected my ability to exercise constantly and have affected my weight (thyroid issues).  This isn't a resolution I have made, but rather something I know I am going to have to do for the rest of my life...and that is to watch what I eat and my exercise.  It is easier said than done, though.  I struggle daily with that irresistible urge to hide in the closet with chocolate and especially when my child hasn't been to school all week and is driving me nuts!  Winter is hard when they are all shut up inside and it's too cold to go outside!

But knowledge is power, right?  So, I am going to pray each day that I don't go too astray from my plans to watch what I eat....and how I look, so that I can always act as if I am romancing my husband....so he can fall in love with me, over and over again!  That's the fun part, right?  By the way, honey, I know you're reading this and those three little words you texted me this morning meant the world.  I love you too!