Happy Belated Mother's Day....

Mother's Day is one holiday I have recently really come to despise.  I guess it's because I want to be a mother SO bad and it seems like EVERYONE around me is either one or is becoming one soon.  So, the family I keep Grace for is about to grow by one more.  She just told me this week that she is pregnant and that really set it off for me.  I cried the entire day.  She told me she liked how well I take care of HER children and wants me to keep working for her after the baby is born.  Her due date is in January and I really hope to God our adoption is complete by then and we have our own family to focus on.  Because I have become so attached to Grace (their almost two year old), I hope we can all stay friends but there will always be a part of me that is envious of her ability and, for that matter, anyone's ability I know to have biological babies.  Does this mean I have not fully grieved infertility?  

I mean, I feel so honored that she has chosen me to care for her two children, but at the same time it hurts beyond imagination that I have to get yet another baby gift for someone else besides myself.  I'm trying SO hard to embrace it.  There are two women Aaron works with who are pregnant and I am determined to throw them a baby shower.  We'll see how that goes.  I am just trying to be nice.  Oh well, please pray for us!  We start our dossier #1 the week after next and hopefully our I-171H home study approval will come so we can get it all apostilled and submitted....then we're eligible for a referral.  Everyday, it feels like getting our little girl is closer and closer.  We know she's probably been born and we just pray for her and the care givers who are nurturing her...that she is getting SOME love til' mommy and daddy can come get her forever.

Look at this forever cute drawing Aaron made of our family to be.  He did it to cheer me up and all it did was make me laugh til I cried.  I guess it did cheer me up.

Comments

  1. The MegerlesMay 12, 2010 at 9:37 PM

    Cute picture!!! Exciting news that you will start the dossier very soon. Congratulations!!!

    ReplyDelete

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