An excerpt from our Adoption Life Book
So, my mom wanted some thoughts written about adopting and this anticipation....and some historical perspective. Here is what resulted. I guess I like to journal a lot more than I originally thought. We finished some photos of Katie Allison's nursery this weekend when she came up to visit. A few of those are also posted below as well as a photo of my mom and I and one of Aaron and I when we went out to dinner.
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In the past year, Aaron and I have learned that God does not always grant us what we THINK we DESERVE in life. It has been a year filled with highs and lows as often happens in life! We both feel we are SO incredibly blessed to be in love and have the love of each other AND that this love has held steady through many trials and tribulations in our short three and a half years of marriage. Last year, we found out our chances of having biological children was very slim and it took some praying and discussion, as all big decisions do, but we decided to adopt. Then, we had to choose whether to adopt domestically or internationally. Then, once deciding on international, we had to choose a country.
At first, we really wanted to adopt from China because of Aaron's heritage and our last name *Chen*. But once we researched adoption from China, we realized it would not fit our family goals because both prospective adoptive parents have to be 30 years old before the process can even be started and then it takes something like 44-50 months after that before a couple is given a referral for a child (that's the medical information and when a decision is made to adopt a particular child). I will be 30 this year and Aaron will not be 30 until April 2011. You see, once we decided we wanted a family....we did not want to wait five years for a baby from China.
We started looking at Russia as an alternative because the process moves SO quickly AND there is a chance of getting a baby with some Asian features as well as Caucasian. It's wild to think our baby we adopt might even look something like us. However, whether she does or not....it's NOT biology that MAKES a parent....it's the love and nurturing you give that child as a mother and father. The other factor that made us choose Russia is because the process moves rather quickly. We started our process on December 11, 2009 and expect to have her home (barring no unforeseen complications) by before Christmas this year. The most recent Russian adoptions I have read about and people we have spoken to who adopted from Russia completed their process and had their children home within a 9-12 month window from the time they started.
We have not intentionally kept this adoption a secret from anyone or from any friends, but we wanted to get far enough into it before we wrote about our decision on facebook...just in case something prevented this from happening as fast as we thought. Now, we ask for your prayers. We ask that you pray for our little baby girl (whom we do not know yet or have not seen photos of). The process for Russia is that you submit all of your legal paperwork and documents BEFORE you receive a referral (pictures and medical information on a child) and then you wait to receive the information on a child. Because of adoption legalities and regulations, we won't be able to place any pictures up on Facebook until she is legally our child, but we can at least try keeping everyone updated on how the process is going.
All I can say, is we definitely need prayers because it's a lot of paperwork and bureaucratic processes to go through. We've basically, at this point, completed step one which is the International Home Study. We're going this Friday to get our fingerprints for our U.S. Citizenship & Immigration. Then, the next step is to submit our home study to USCIS. Once we do that and receive immigration approval, we can work on dossier number one (that's the paperwork that goes to Russia) to submit. After submitting this, we wait....and btw, it seems like there's a whole lot of "hurry up and wait," in this process. Once we receive a referral, we are invited by the Minister of Education to travel to Russia to meet our little girl (whom we have decided we will name Katie Allison). Then, we spend five to seven days in the region "bonding" with our little Katie. And, here's the MOST heartbreaking part: we then have to LEAVE her at the orphanage, fly back home and submit another dossier....which is number two. That is then translated into Russian and a court date is scheduled about one to two months from the time you first traveled. Aaron and I then travel back to Russia for our court hearing. Once the court hearing is complete, we have a ten-day waiting period where we must either come back to the U.S. or wait in the region in Russia to pick up our baby girl and bring her home.
With adoption or having a child....hands down, there are SO many uncertainties that we have to remember to lean on God during this process. Getting her nursery decorated this past weekend with my mom made everything feel SO much more real. It's been hard to put into words the enormous love Aaron, me and our families already have for a baby we have never even met. Some people may not understand this and how one can love a baby they've never met, but we completely understand it. You see, I may not carry this baby in my belly, but we carry her in our hearts each and every day.
Most people have "pictures" of their unborn children in the form of ultrasounds. We just have visions of her in our minds and know that God has this special child hand-picked for just Aaron and I to parent and love. We also know that without parents willing to adopt these babies and give them forever families that some of them would be put on the streets at 13 years of age with no sense of family and no one to love and care for them. To see ANY innocent child suffer that is unbearable. I think sometimes that's why God chose Aaron and I to adopt a baby and that he, in his most awesome glory and power, knew we would adopt someday. It really makes you look back and see where God has worked in your life, allowed you to meet your soul mate and to put the two of you together in a world FULL of people just so this one child could have the love of a family......not just the love of ANY family, but of OUR family.
Thank you for praying for us and we ask that you continue to do so as we go down this foreign road of adoption from a country we know so little about.
**************************************************************************************************
See more photos of our weekend decorating at my facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2151076&id=42809441&l=413c784fab
***************************************************************************************************
In the past year, Aaron and I have learned that God does not always grant us what we THINK we DESERVE in life. It has been a year filled with highs and lows as often happens in life! We both feel we are SO incredibly blessed to be in love and have the love of each other AND that this love has held steady through many trials and tribulations in our short three and a half years of marriage. Last year, we found out our chances of having biological children was very slim and it took some praying and discussion, as all big decisions do, but we decided to adopt. Then, we had to choose whether to adopt domestically or internationally. Then, once deciding on international, we had to choose a country.
At first, we really wanted to adopt from China because of Aaron's heritage and our last name *Chen*. But once we researched adoption from China, we realized it would not fit our family goals because both prospective adoptive parents have to be 30 years old before the process can even be started and then it takes something like 44-50 months after that before a couple is given a referral for a child (that's the medical information and when a decision is made to adopt a particular child). I will be 30 this year and Aaron will not be 30 until April 2011. You see, once we decided we wanted a family....we did not want to wait five years for a baby from China.
We started looking at Russia as an alternative because the process moves SO quickly AND there is a chance of getting a baby with some Asian features as well as Caucasian. It's wild to think our baby we adopt might even look something like us. However, whether she does or not....it's NOT biology that MAKES a parent....it's the love and nurturing you give that child as a mother and father. The other factor that made us choose Russia is because the process moves rather quickly. We started our process on December 11, 2009 and expect to have her home (barring no unforeseen complications) by before Christmas this year. The most recent Russian adoptions I have read about and people we have spoken to who adopted from Russia completed their process and had their children home within a 9-12 month window from the time they started.
We have not intentionally kept this adoption a secret from anyone or from any friends, but we wanted to get far enough into it before we wrote about our decision on facebook...just in case something prevented this from happening as fast as we thought. Now, we ask for your prayers. We ask that you pray for our little baby girl (whom we do not know yet or have not seen photos of). The process for Russia is that you submit all of your legal paperwork and documents BEFORE you receive a referral (pictures and medical information on a child) and then you wait to receive the information on a child. Because of adoption legalities and regulations, we won't be able to place any pictures up on Facebook until she is legally our child, but we can at least try keeping everyone updated on how the process is going.
All I can say, is we definitely need prayers because it's a lot of paperwork and bureaucratic processes to go through. We've basically, at this point, completed step one which is the International Home Study. We're going this Friday to get our fingerprints for our U.S. Citizenship & Immigration. Then, the next step is to submit our home study to USCIS. Once we do that and receive immigration approval, we can work on dossier number one (that's the paperwork that goes to Russia) to submit. After submitting this, we wait....and btw, it seems like there's a whole lot of "hurry up and wait," in this process. Once we receive a referral, we are invited by the Minister of Education to travel to Russia to meet our little girl (whom we have decided we will name Katie Allison). Then, we spend five to seven days in the region "bonding" with our little Katie. And, here's the MOST heartbreaking part: we then have to LEAVE her at the orphanage, fly back home and submit another dossier....which is number two. That is then translated into Russian and a court date is scheduled about one to two months from the time you first traveled. Aaron and I then travel back to Russia for our court hearing. Once the court hearing is complete, we have a ten-day waiting period where we must either come back to the U.S. or wait in the region in Russia to pick up our baby girl and bring her home.
With adoption or having a child....hands down, there are SO many uncertainties that we have to remember to lean on God during this process. Getting her nursery decorated this past weekend with my mom made everything feel SO much more real. It's been hard to put into words the enormous love Aaron, me and our families already have for a baby we have never even met. Some people may not understand this and how one can love a baby they've never met, but we completely understand it. You see, I may not carry this baby in my belly, but we carry her in our hearts each and every day.
Most people have "pictures" of their unborn children in the form of ultrasounds. We just have visions of her in our minds and know that God has this special child hand-picked for just Aaron and I to parent and love. We also know that without parents willing to adopt these babies and give them forever families that some of them would be put on the streets at 13 years of age with no sense of family and no one to love and care for them. To see ANY innocent child suffer that is unbearable. I think sometimes that's why God chose Aaron and I to adopt a baby and that he, in his most awesome glory and power, knew we would adopt someday. It really makes you look back and see where God has worked in your life, allowed you to meet your soul mate and to put the two of you together in a world FULL of people just so this one child could have the love of a family......not just the love of ANY family, but of OUR family.
Thank you for praying for us and we ask that you continue to do so as we go down this foreign road of adoption from a country we know so little about.
**************************************************************************************************
See more photos of our weekend decorating at my facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2151076&id=42809441&l=413c784fab
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