Courage to Tell My Story

I was inspired to write this because of our church's MOPS chapter.  This month's theme was "Courage to Tell Your Story," and falls under this year's theme, "Be You, Bravely."  Thank you for inspiring me to share this testimony. 

I did not see God’s purpose in all the suffering until over a decade later, in the cold, dark abyss of Eastern Russia.  Twelve years ago, I was a tiny, energetic, beautiful 22-year old with stars in my eyes.  I was an on-air personality for a national radio conglomerate and was going to be the NEXT Katie Couric.  I had the world by a string….until one fateful day when a host of medical problems stopped me in my tracks.  Three kidney stones, a horribly traumatic infection and a blood clot left me a miniscule of my former self. I was broken. What I did not know then is that God had greater plans for my life than even I could envision.

In the book of Jeremiah, it is written,"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  When going through hard things in life, it is beyond our capacity as human beings to understand WHY the pain and suffering.  What I learned through ten years of fighting—that often the plans we have for our lives are NOT the plans of our most awesome creator.

At age 24, I met my future husband on e-Harmony. Little did I know that God would use the pain for His Glory.  In 2006, I married my husband on a gorgeous summer day in Mississippi, surrounded by my friends and family. My husband was active duty for the Air Force and we traveled and moved often.  It was in Ohio, about three years into our marriage, that we starting trying to conceive.  After being unable to bear children, we started exploring our options for starting a family, which included the adoption and consulting with a second specialist.  We chose not to try fertility drugs because of the risks. We were devastated.

The same day of the second consultation, we were sitting in the doctor’s office when the news was delivered and at the VERY same time, an email arrived from around the world.  We KNEW God had worked this out. Have you ever heard the phrase that, “When God closes a door, he opens a window?”  That is exactly what he did for us.  In that email, there was a photo of a little 14-pound Russian baby girl who was half Asian.  My husband is half-Asian.  The resemblance was uncanny. After 14 months of grueling paperwork, we brought that baby home in February 2011. 

Through all the tears and suffering, it was hard to see God’s purpose in the pain.  I often wondered why my life was spared.  I finally had the answer in the eyes of a tiny, frail Russian orphan. In Romans 8:28, it says “And we know all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”  That’s just what God did for me, and more importantly, for a little girl with pigtails that needed a family.  You see, out of great suffering became the beautiful blessings in my life.  That baby is six years old today. I am eternally grateful to the woman who gave her life and gave us a daughter.